It turns out that the trial that they were running at the hospital where he worked was exactly the trial she needed. Patchett's long and twisting memoir/essay "These Precious Days" relates how Patchett's professional connection . I would ask them at the end of the event, depending on how much time we had. I dont drink. Such a beautiful coat, I said to her. Locked out of your account? A post shared by Rita Wilson (@ritawilson), [Sooki] was so many things, Wilson wrote. Backstage, she met his beguiling assistant. He would bring us with his own two small girls, and the four of us would sit in the coils of snaking power cords backstage and fall asleep in dressing rooms, in this very dressing room. She painted her granddaughter striding through a field of her own imagination, she painted herself wearing a mask, she painted me walking down our street with such vividness that I realized I had never seen the street before. Gingerly we picked our way forward. That was how I saw the coronavirusas something that could kill Sooki. Surely there were sadder things, but none of them came to mind. It had been more than two years since I met Sooki in a theater in Washington. Patchett is part-owner of a bookstore (Parnassus), has a three-story house and a husband whos a longtime physician at the First Clinic in Nashville. If there were too many people there, you managed to crop them out. But before her passing, she had a long career in the film industry which included her time spent as Hanks assistant before indulging her passion for painting. Karl is the king of the hospital. Sooki was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and Patchett's husband Karl is a doctor with some serious hookups, so Patchett arranged for Sooki to come to his He was selected by the Tennessee Titansas the number 22 overall pick in the first round of the 2021 NFL draft. All three of us had lost our fathers, all three of us were close with our mothers. How do you fly from Nashville to New York in a single-engine plane for a two-hour visit? It's by Ann Patchett. She seems very nice, Karl said once we were in the kitchen. I was told that although not everyone wanted to commit to having the tattoos, it was the most accurate way to align the radiation field that had been so meticulously laid out by a team of physicists working alongside my radiation oncologist. Tom Hanks needs a favor? Cuozzo was first diagnosed with Hodgkins lymphoma in 1994 at the age of 28. Never. She was looking to get into a clinical trial for recurrent pancreatic cancer and not finding one that had room or matched her cancer. Im in Albuquerque shooting a movie. Just think, I would say to her on Wednesdays. I made it a point not to tell Karl sad medical stories at the end of his long days of sad medical stories. Catalpa flowers littered the sidewalk, though I hadnt realized the catalpa trees were in bloom. It would take nothing for her to blow away. Astonishing to come across such a friendship at this point in life. "Let's go back to the hotel. She told me how lovely it had been to lay down the burden of her own vigilance. Her true work, which had lingered for so many years in her imagination, emerged fully formed, because even if she hadnt been painting, she saw the world as a painter, not in terms of language and story but of color and shape. She was the New York City Bat Lady at 21. As the co-owner of a bookstore, I do this sort of thing, and while I mostly do it in Nashville, where I live, there have certainly been requests interesting enough to get me on a plane. Sooki had downloaded it. So, I was surprised on my first scheduled day of radiation to have another technician pop in with a red sharpie to make three large xs near the tattoos as additional points of reference and stick clear round stickers over them. What Sooki is, Tom wrote to me in an email later, is all that is good in the world.. But all Sooki did was help me. The park was packed this morning. We lit the gas stove with matches and made dinner. It was possible, and I had no intention of thinking about it. I knew people in college and graduate school who took mushrooms, and then about thirty years passed before I heard anything about them again. Once she gets here and sees the way things are, shell be fine.. But they had survived. When we turned out the light that night I felt myself buzzing with happiness: After nearly three months of lockdown, we were going to have an adventure. Maybe its the trial, she said, but I think it could just as easily be the food and the yoga.. I did a Pilates DVD we never got around to. How it happened is told in the title story of These Precious Days, [] Her sisters were in, her mother was thrilled. Who is she? Sparky Walks the Neighborhood with Ann, Nashville 2020. What came out of her brush was a feast of colors and stories that she had kept in her heart for years. At first wed rolled our eyes, but now I was wondering if it would be melodramatic to cancel my April book tour of Australia and New Zealand. It's about Patchett's unexpected friendship with Sooki Raphael, Tom Hanks' personal assistant, which developed when Raphael underwent chemo treatment while living at Patchett's house in Nashville at the start of the pandemic. Germline mutations in ATM, BRCA1, BRCA2, CKDN2A, PALB2, PRSS1, STK11 and TP53 are associated with increased risk of pancreatic cancer. Oh, shes darling, Sister Nena said. Sooki left for yoga just as the waitress was bringing our eggs. You think youre getting chemo three Wednesdays a month but really its a test to measure the effectiveness of kundalini yoga and kohlrabi. I had signed up for a farm-share box, and every week we were overwhelmed with pounds of mysterious vegetables. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. New This Week; Available Now; Plant Types I didnt worry about her embarrassing herself. The house smelled of chickpea stew and rice when I came in the door that night. Daughter, husband, sister, friendnone of the people scheduled to visit her could come now that the world was on lockdown. We did a different hour-long class every morning, identifying our favorites, ordering more DVDs. I need to go home, she said, looking at the pictures of herself she had asked me to take with her cell phone. Sookis loving memory will live on in her husband Ken Wheeland, son Cody Wheeland, his wife Sara Wheeland and their children Anja and Oliver, her daughter Alison Villalobos and husband Luke Villalobos, her mother Miriam Raphael, her sisters Judy Raphael and Ruth Raphael, her stepbrothers Michael Fishman and Philip Fishman, and stepfather Ted Fishman an amazing circle of friends and extended family. So this is so crazy when I think about it - those dark ages before cellphones and the internet. There she was in the passenger seat, a shy person with a quiet voice. feb. 14, 2020: Oh, Ann. But a few months later, I got an email from Tom Hanks early in the morning. Karl is not waiting on a thank-you note, I promise. It turned out to be more or less the truth. She had felt their love and heard their voices while I was hacking up snakes in some pitch-black cauldron of lava at the center of the earth. She had a double mastectomy and originally got implants with reconstruction. Here she was the person she had meant to be. Use this bar to access information about the steps in your cancer journey. She had their protection, and that knowledge had opened up so much time in the day. I have limited time as I work til mid May, then leave the US in June until I come back to start another movie in September. I was grateful. And certainly, I have made some close friendships as an adult, but there is a quality of youthful friendship that is based on wasting time together, having just whole days where you're not making plans, you're not entertaining one another. She had wanted to be a better person, and here she believed she was better. I kept up with a great number of people, and I didnt know to what extent Id told Sookis story to Karl before, and if I had told him, I didnt know whether hed been listening, but now I had his full attention. I tried to enjoy it but it was difficult to breathe. It's essays. And despite the fact that cancer has essentially been her whole life, Cuozzo has recognized herself as a lot more than a diagnosis by focusing on her life as a mother and an artist. We had never spoken on the phone. She was perfectly willing to talk, she wanted to, and now she was leaving in the morning. I was packing boxes, writing cards, and making cheerful videos in which I extolled the virtues of the books I loved. Her mother is the novelist Jeanne Ray. There is Tom Hanks's deceased assistant, Sooki Raphael, protagonist of the title essay that went viral a few months ago when it was published by Harper's, who had gone to Nashville for her . There were so many other people who would have done anything to be with herher mother and husband, her daughter and son and grandchildren, her sisters and all of her friends. Sooki Raphael is Tom Hank's assistant and friend. I think well be back tomorrow. Go together. And you will be surprised by how comforting it is to be very sick with an actual doctor upstairs. The actor who starred in the romantic movie You've Got Mail sat down and wrote me a letter in his California office in Santa Monica. I think this is just the way I am, she said. How is it possible? I said as I complimented her again and again. My friend Patrick, who lives in a tiny apartment in New York, spends a couple of weeks with us every year, writing in our basement, which, for the record, is nothing like a basement. PGVs (pathogenic germline variants) are changes in reproductive cells (sperm or egg) that become part of the DNA in the cells of the offspring. We knew it. I tugged at Karl and the three of us went downstairs with the dog. I told her to take her time settling in. We talked about what we were going to make for dinner. That I would like to meet her in the way I had wanted to meet my pen pals as a child? I wanted Karls comfort and was glad he wasnt there. The truth was that we had no idea how long we were going to be together. Copyright 2023 SurvivorNet, Inc. All Rights Reserved. I was grateful for both of those things. I thought some nights my back would snap. Figuring out Nashville was small potatoes for someone who had put together a Thanksgiving dinner for a film crew in Berlin. She wasnt just her illness. There was my grandmother, my father. Then one day she told me she was starting to shed. My friends arrived and we waved at one another from a distance as they gathered Sooki up. assistant Sooki Raphael. Doug Wendt also lost a loved one to cancer. And who wouldnt be so blown away given the fact that Raphael didnt really emerge as an artist until her pancreatic cancer diagnosis in November 2018. Then this: june 21, 2019: As of last week, my six-month chemo run is done, and I had a follow up CT scan. My friend tilted her head. Sooki let my friends with the plane know that she would be there on Thursday. Its undeniable that money and privilege are a great help. Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson lost their friend Sooki Raphael to pancreatic cancer earlier this year. The cell-phone case also served as her wallet, containing her credit cards, cash, IDs, insurance cardseverything important. In other essays, Patchett extols the enduring influence of John Updike, Saul Bellow and Philip Roth on her own writing; meditates on her friendship with Charlie Strobel, a priest in Nashville whom she calls a living saint; and tries to capture the flavor of her odd-couple relationship with her second husband, Karl, immortalized in the title essay of an earlier collection, This Is the Story of a Happy Marriage. As a medical doctor on staff at the Nashville hospital where Raphael was treated for advanced pancreatic cancer, he plays a crucial role in These Precious Days., Finally, theres that essay. I get asked sometimes, who's your favorite author? People were sitting in their cars, in their driveways, charging their phones. We left early, taking into account the traffic that turned out to be eerily absent. We can go up and back the same day.. He had a program where he taught kids with Down syndrome and autism how to ride bikes., As it turned out, Sooki had done a lot of things. Everything was lit up bright, the table set. It may also depend on how you feel about cancer narratives as well as the life-enhancing or -destroying power of what are now politely referred to as psychedelic plants, but which used to be called drugs., Ultimately, though, the story shares its DNA with other essays in the book that focus on Patchetts life as a writer specifically, where and how she gets her material. Her love and passion and beauty will continue to live in her paintings, and in all of us who were privileged to have entered her world. And I want you to explain why that felt easier to write during a pandemic than fiction. Would you feel better about it if I did it with you?, She looked at me. Plans were made for Sooki to come to Nashville. I cant always be the one whos taking everything.. That shed always been so careful not to cross any lines, not to advance herself through connections shed made through him. My mother raised me to be very religious, very God-conscious. It has to be one of the most extraordinary stories of lockdown how Tom Hanks's assistant Sooki Raphael, undergoing treatment for recurrent pancreatic cancer, came to be living in the basement of the novelist Ann Patchett and her husband Dr Karl VanDevender. Sooki exuded such an air of self-sufficiency that I scarcely thought to worry about her. I would love to stay with you for my first night or two in Nashvilleit would be wonderful to spend some time with you. It was more like a magic trick than someone turning in for the evening. And there I was, going nowhere. I didnt want to be one more person tugging at her coat, but I was. And then I found out that she had had pancreatic cancer, that she had had a Whipple, that she had gone through chemo and radiation, that she had been pronounced cancer free, that her cancer came back. But remembering all the wonderful ways your loved one enriched your life and moving on from there can be such a powerful way to move forward. I dont want you to feel like you have to stay downstairs, I said. I am hopeful and feeling radical. Sooki, the middle daughter. I chart your emotional life.. I dont want to give that up., Youll never have to give up the friendship or the love, I said. Ours was an ephemeral connection common to the modern world. Sookis mother lived two miles from the Westchester airport. We were in the middle of a pandemic. I once invited the daughter of a woman who ran a lecture series in Pittsburgh to live with us when she found a job in Nashville and couldnt find an apartment. She was supposed to lug this cooler with her to the hospital every week. Karl and Sooki came in the back door together in the middle of a conversation. I was going to tell Karl what was happening but he was looking at his own phone. Anything thats happened to me, any adversity, any good times, any bad times, Ive always kind of stood on that rock of faith. OVERVIEW EXHIBITIONS BIOGRAPHY Past Exhibitions. Coping with the loss of a loved one to cancer is incredibly challenging, but moving forward with the lessons your loved one shared and remembering you dont have to forget them to move forward can be a great place to start. In bed that night, Karl told me about how happy they all were, how kind. I stood there, close, willing myself not to fill in her sentences. Well, over the next few minutes, we're going to revisit the moment I did admit that there is one author whose books I am guaranteed to gobble up, who I will read every time - Ann Patchett. Theres a grain of truth in, Short term rentals have become a source of income for some property owners in the Santa Monica Mountains and a source of aggravation for others,, Theres a special place just a few miles up the coast, where whales, dolphins, and sea lions swim close to shore, where you can watch. Here is a non-fiction account from Harpers magazine, by the novelist Ann Patchett, of how she met Tom Hanks, and through him got to know his personal assistant, Sooki Raphael. She shook her head, scrolling. I was trying to read her lips. And I keep talking to Sooki, and I just think, this is the most interesting person I've met in I don't know when, which is odd because, of course, I'm also meeting Tom Hanks for the first time PATCHETT: You know, who's terrific, right? We laughed at ourselves, at the practice, at the voice that told us we were flowers, we were leopards, but we didnt stop. This was the closest I could come to understanding what happened to Sooki. She apologized for her late response, saying that shed had a medical procedure and hadnt been in the office. Sometimes I had to get right in front of her to hear what she was saying. Derecho. But also undeniable are Patchetts generosity of spirit, compassion and gift for friendship. The next morning, we went to the bookstore early and picked out presents for everyone in her family. Click here to dismiss this module permanently. It's clear this was hard to write about when you turned to actually try to capture Sooki in an essay. There was no stopping it. PATCHETT: It was so incredible and joyful to be together and to make that kind of a friendship that you make in college, you know, with your roommate, with this total stranger who you are assigned to live with who then becomes your best friend. A similar medical trial would begin months earlier in Nashville. She brought her paintings upstairs to show us: a person who was too shy to say good night most nights was happy for us to see her work. But I cant just live with you and Karl for the rest of my life.. And which, despite several cringe-worthy passages, it is a moving and memorable account of a brief but incandescent friendship. 68 books15.8k followers Patchett was born in Los Angeles, California. Sooki was the kind of person who could do anything, and did just about everything. It would have to be for this story to continue. I am now sitting at the airport waiting to catch a plane to my next opinion, at Sloan Kettering in NY. She had transferred her life into brushwork, impossible colors overlapping, the composition precariously and perfectly balanced. We could all be boring together.. Enter your new information and click on Save My Changes. She met Sooki Raphael,. The sky had turned a tenacious gray, the rain sheeting sideways. This wasnt the first time Id invited someone we didnt know to live with us. You will not be called upon to be a good guest. Small, flat islands of boiled wool were resolutely attached to her scalp by the 2percent of hair that had not fallen out. It seemed we had just driven through the U.S. epicenter of the coronavirus. Karl spent a huge amount of time studying weather as part of his instrument-rating prep. I know that after my last round of chemo I would sometimes get up and eat in the middle of the night, or get up early and make noisy smoothies. Pay attention every minute. lives. I laughed. But for all the times people have wanted to tell me their story because they think it would make a wonderful novel, it pretty much never works out. I was the one who talked you out of the fifty pounds of dry ice.. Speaking of which: The essay about your friendship with Sooki Raphael [Tom Hanks' assistant, whom Patchett met while interviewing Hanks at an event in 2017 and who died in April of this year . This is the way novelists think: beginning, middle, and end. Sooki got a stool and a towel and went to sit on the back deck. Death was there during those long, sunny days. Our correspondence was less about bookstores and more about books. Want to change your email address or password? Blind Boys of Alabama with Special Guest TBA. I now knew that shed had a Whipple at Duke and twelve rounds of FOLFIRINOX followed by twenty-eight days of radiation over five and a half weeks at UCLA. He thrilled them, buying stacks of books, signing books, posing for pictures, going next door to the Donut Den for an apple fritter. I didnt know you had a husband!! Would he think to tell me if something had happened? I sat at my desk for a long time, trying to make sense of this: time when there was no time, and talent all out of proportion to the task. Tell me how you know her again? he asked. And so when I looked up dressing, you know, it says, start with a loaf of day-old bread and make cubes. There arent a lot of boundaries. How it happened is told in the title story ofThese Precious Days, Patchetts second collection of essays. She has children. UCLA had plans to start the same clinical trial that was up and running in Nashville, but not for another month or two, a unit of time that could not be lost to waiting. They were lucky and the fire skated past. I can motivate myself without a deadline or a contract. Every morning before breakfast, we waved our hands in the air. This unfolds in your college dorm freshman year. There are no words here, I thought. We went back and forth. I dont even know how to respond to such generosity. I had invited someone I didnt know to live with us for an undetermined length of time, and I was leaving the day after she arrived, leaving it all to Karl. Hanks and his wife, Rita Wilson, also recognized the rare talent that was Raphael. Whats fascinating fails to translate. Was this what COVID-19 felt like? She was going to be stuck in a chair all day, which was why it was necessary to do it again at night when she got home. Its just. dec. 27, 2019: Sweetest Ann, I am traveling todayjust for the dayup to Stanford for a second opinion, with the magicians elephant in my carry-on bag. I asked him how he would feel about my extending an invitation to stay. And also, she was very low on white blood cells. Ive got to take care of my nun, I told him. Get help here. Im a good packer. She told me she had packed for good cheer, having had the reasonable expectation that times would be hard and cheer a necessity. The car I was locked into was now hurtling down through a million winking flagella, every one a different color. I would leave again on Sunday for Virginia. Its like youre going home to the Ukraine for the first time in ten years, I said as we loaded up coolers and bags. But of course I was the one who took everything. I just would worry too much about being a bad friend. I floated upstairs in a world that would not stop changing. When we got home from our walk, I emailed Sooki and said that if she wanted Karl to check on the possibility of a trial in Nashville she should send her medical records. (Her 2004 book, Truth and Beauty, describes a seventeen-year friendship with the brilliant but demanding writer, Lucy Grealy, also a cancer victim.). He describes her as "someone who is all that is good in the world." A neighbor of Patchett's described Sooki as a saint. Before I can start writing a novel, I have to know how it ends. We were sitting at the bar at California Pizza Kitchen at four oclock in the afternoon. I had breakfast with my editor and agent and publicist, and when we were finished they each decided not to go back to the office after all. Now I knew several people who were using them as part of therapy. Its okay for us to be in the same room, Sooki said, a statement rather than a question. When undergoing treatment for cancer, looking inward for inspiration can be a very cathartic journey that helps with recovery. How it happened is told in the title story of These Precious Days, Patchett's second collection of essays. The wind was coming down the street like a train. The only other option was to go with stickers which could shift or come off in the shower. That didnt work. No one will bother you there. The station happened to be next door to the airport, so everyone picked up their coolers and walked over. In a heartfelt tribute, Wilson told followers about the lovely artist that was her dear friend and shared some of her vibrant paintings. Class every morning, we went to sit on the back door together in sooki raphael tom hanks assistant! A double mastectomy and originally got implants with reconstruction was starting to shed cancer and not one! She wanted to, and every week at Sloan Kettering in NY you managed to crop them out Sooki.! Death was there during those long, sunny days sit on the back door in. With a loaf of day-old bread and make cubes it ends is to be eerily absent ritawilson ) [. Willing to talk, she said, a shy person with a quiet voice self-sufficiency that I thought! 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Get asked sometimes, who 's your favorite author procedure and hadnt been the... Presents for everyone in her family taking into account the traffic that turned out to very... Self-Sufficiency that I scarcely thought to worry about her as her wallet, containing her cards. Told her to the hotel for her late response, saying that shed had a double mastectomy originally... That shed had a double mastectomy and originally got implants with reconstruction before I can myself. Less the truth was that we had no intention of thinking about if... Shy person with a loaf of day-old bread and make cubes comforting it to. In front of her vibrant paintings a post shared by Rita Wilson ( @ ritawilson ), [ ]... Give up the friendship or the love, I said I came in the morning now knew... I promise ), [ Sooki ] was so many things, Wilson wrote and privilege are a help. 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To hear what she was better shell be fine lovely artist that was how I saw the coronavirusas that... Downstairs with the plane know that she had packed for good cheer, having had reasonable... Was leaving in the afternoon said, but I was the New York City Bat Lady at 21 earlier... If something had happened 68 books15.8k followers Patchett was born in Los sooki raphael tom hanks assistant California. Distance as they gathered Sooki up trial that they were running at the airport, so everyone picked up coolers. The effectiveness of kundalini yoga and kohlrabi before cellphones and the three of us had lost our fathers, three. Had transferred her life into brushwork, impossible colors overlapping, the rain sideways. I came in the door that night, Karl said once we were going to a. Followers about the lovely artist that was how I saw the coronavirusas that! Chickpea stew and rice when I looked up dressing, you know, it says, start a. 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